Dilemma of My Nights..

At night my mind says...Let’s sleep

My heart says...What you'll dream

That’s when my eyes tell....every time you weep.

The last song played on my cell phone

Was once dedicated to him

That’s when its lyrics tell...

He might have forgotten them

I turned to the other side of the sleeping seat

Facing the window 

That’s when light passing through it tells...a ray of hope that you guys might meet.

In the darkest of night…When you held my hand &

Told “don’t fear”

That’s when the touch of my own hand tells…

No one is here.

It was the silliest joke you cracked in the middle of the night

And I smiled.

That’s when the silence tells… 

let the past behind & walk a mile.

I toss n turn with thoughts & possibilities…

To be together & forever

That’s when dawn breaks and tells…

This is life…try to live happily ever.
By- prI

Roads without You...

You are a man with a common face

known to your mates, unknown to me.

You walk with us on a busy street

known to your paths, unknown to me.

As I walk through the lane

My shadow follows me

Thinking about you while in pain

I watch you besides me.

It reminds once we walked on this path

only me and you

and now it seemed I have no clue.

The roads got apart in two directions

like our hearts

Which was full of love, care and trust

Now it got blocked with thorns and dust.

As I touch the end with my feet

after walking a long mile

I wish we meet 

and see your smile.

It looks like unknown path

to which we are unused

Hope that one day all gets clear

and there is no hate and fear

By- prI

Happy New Year 2013

Today being the last of 2012, I thanked all the people who entered in & went away from my life. Thanks to all of them, who are always there to support in any trouble in which I get into and try to help me out from that. Thanks to them, who made me cry, hurtd me becoz they were there to play their imp role in my life..so thanks I learnt something from you people too.

Thanks being the very small word for those special people, who are always there as a supporting system..friends, family & God. As now I am entering in 2013 leaving my past behind & carrying all those beautiful memories..I welcome this New Year with all prosperity & wish this year bring happiness n success in everyone’s life. Lucky & feel special to have new people in my life, they also accept me the way I am..& old ones got more special.
I wish this New Year 2013 bring a lot of happiness & we all be together forever.
Love & peace
Priyanka Chahande

I couldn't fall in love, Actually I was too busy with FRIENDSHIP

Relations…we make, we break and we live them. We treasure it with all our heart. Memories of each relation get piled up, day by day and we realize its importance when they are on the verge of ending.  We have given names for each relations..but they revolve around Love, Trust, Faith, Understanding & care. These relations have a magnetic touch, which hold tightly everything from both the ends…but sometimes it get loose and break because of ego, jealousy, betrayal and most important breaking of anyone’s trust. Let’s not talk about breaking any relation…but making!!

I met that person at Bookoholics. No it’s not a book cafe..nor a restaurant..neither a networking site..it’s a reader’s junction, where people share their small write ups..their stories..their art..art of writing. And on the same place I too had shared two short articles…my first experience with writing. This new passion of writing started with reading novel..reading blogs…and reading stories of bloggers on “Bookoholics” but the main reason behind this new passion was something else. Both my stories were based on a real conversations (though to which I gave a little fiction touch too) with a guy..whom I loved.  Both the stories liked by many readers…but getting praised by that person, who is behind this new experience..new passion in me..made me go mad that day…because he liked my work.

He was the 4^th one to comment on my short article…”Who is the writer??” he asked

I replied back “I am the writer..Priyanka Chahande..these people had made some mistake by not specifying my name” I tried to explain
When my second article got post on Bookoholics I guess they forgot to mention the writer’s name because of which he was enquiring about it. He replied back to me..and this time when I read, what he had commented all I was in a happy shock..smiling and blushing…because he appreciated my work.

“nice work…better than the last time…loved it…Priyanka…keep working…luv u” it was his comment

My eyes were open…I tried to open more my small eyes…and was re reading that comment…

“hey thanks dude..:) Means u read the last stry?? M in luv with ur blogs & stories..:)” I replied 

 Yes its “HE”!!
He is the reason behind my new experience and passion…and those two short stories were the result of that. It’s his blogs..his write ups..his stories which inspired me…introduce myself with a new fresh page &pen in my hand..to try this art of writing. I was in love with his blogs and his writing. I used to read all his blogs..rather than studying late night. Actually study, assignments were the excuses..to read his blogs. For me reading was enjoying the love stories..how writers have pen down each and every details…because I am a girl who gets mad over “love”..and not to act as a critic for every story I read.

So I thanked and started asking questions also..as I was very happy “he appreciated my work” . I was again at night reading his blogs..where he had shared many short stories more than 10 and after reading one I checked my articles and there was a new comment..he replied..

“And I am in love with you…Lets fall for each other :D season of love.”

Again I was amazed by his reply and was blushing, smiling and thinking what should I reply now…He replied in his flirty, charming way..now what!!

“Rainy season…season of love..if this cuming Sunday it rained..lets fall for each other:D” I replied So I also tried to be a little flirt with him..then we exchanged “smiley”…(these smiley are very important.)

After all this I tried to search on Facebook also but nothing came up. I so desperately wanted to talk about his write ups. Then one day on G-mail I got a chat invitation..and to my surprise it was from that very special person…with whom I wanted to talk a lot. And then from there all those conversations started.

He is 3 years younger than me..he is so passionate, ambitious and hardworking towards his dream. He is a loving guy and charming too…from the way of his talking. He is caring..but sometime gets irritated when things don’t work out in his manner…and will never show how much sad or upset he is…and the best thing is his heart..it’s too delicate &loving. For me he was “love@bookoholics” and I was “love@gtalk”..that way we used to call each other. Days passed with all beautiful and silly conversation we used have. His desire to achieve his dream was increasing day by day…and I was wishing it get fulfill as soon as possible..but every time he used to tell me..”it will take time.. :( ”…and I used to assure “it will… :-)”

His sad smiley always make me sad…so I always try to act silly to get that one smiling smiley…and whenever he used to give me that smiley..for assuring I always ask…”fake smile h ya real wali?”

To which he reply  ...”real wali.. :-) :-)”  and I used to get 2 smiley in return…sometimes 3-4 also. I always try to bring smile on his face..so one fine day I thought of gifting a book…”and then it rained..by Gaurav Dashputra” ..which he wanted to read. I ordered this book and gave his address and told that you will receive this book…as he got message on his cell phone about the order detail and all from that e-shop…that day he was so happy I could sense while we were talking..and he told me “ I love presents..  :-) thank you..thanks for the book”

After seeing smiley I was happy too…and replied.. “ :-) :-)”

“Atleast i am important to someone.... Mrko lga upar jaunga to koi rone wala hi nhi hoga” he said

And with this reply I shouted..”stop saying that..i don’t like when ppl talk abt dying..tk ur wrds back” 

“K…I will live…Live to infinity” he replied.

Then I said..”u r imprtnt for ur friends, bst pals, family too”

“frnds are family..we created..god has already created one family for us…the thing which matters is…the attachment and bond we created..like u n me.. :-)” he said

“I appreciated that bond and attachment..the relation we created between us..i’ll cherish it forever..and will never leave u” I replied 
that day I was again so happy…the relation which started was growing so beautifully..friendship..we all admire this relation…because ye apne aap he ban jate hai”. I was happy after listening that he also appreciate this relation…and that day I got my new friend. Earlier too he was my friend only..but with passing day he became dearer too…as a special friend.

“but me tumhe bhul jaunga” he said
“me irritate kar kar k tumhe apni yaad dialti rahungi” I saidI know he was happy and me too…then we exchanged smiley’s… :-) :-)

Don’t you think it sounds a little filmy type? Yes it is…because I myself can relate it one movie..”Wake up Sid”. Where Aisha met his new friend Sid..and how they come across new world of their own..their happiness in small small things..small fights too..but that brings them closer…what passion and liking they have and most importantly knowing what life is. That is movie..all of you know but this is reality…and here he taught me..about writing in his own way…made me introduce to me..a new girl in me..what passion & desire is..to achieve your dream..showed me a new path where I can also walk…for me he is like my guru (on which he always argue)..when it comes to writing because he take out my mistakes, tell me what is correct and what not..always say read and write till the time you don’t feel satisfied…and some time appreciate my work too.

Yes I have found a new friend…in my own world, whom I have not met but still I feel like..I know him. Its him…now I call him that way..”HIM”. And I like Him..when he smiles…whenever I tell him this thing…he says 

“line na maar”

“nh maar rhi hu yaar..already kitni line me h” I reply

To which he says..”nahi hai yaar..single he hu..scchii”

“m bhi scchii he keh rhi hu…smile karta h too aacha lagta h..be like dis nly” I told him

“ :-) :-)“ his reply

Then in the end we exchange some more smiley.

Will You be My Valentine?

"Where are you? I am waiting for you from last 20 minutes. On this day also..you will make me wait??” I enquired

“Patience baby…I am coming. And this day of your life I’ll make memorable for you.” He said

So I was waiting for him at CCD where he told me reach before 20 minutes..That is exact at 11AM. And now it’s been half an hour, I am looking at my watch and at entrance. The people around me also started staring at me..The weird and tension look of mine.

Then there he comes, in a very hustle bustle way and settles down in chair in front of me. I asked waiter for water, he drank and now breathing normally. He then kept on saying sorry for being late because of traffic and trying to make me smile. Though I was trying to look angry but his cute sorry saying face didn’t allowed my anger to stay for more time.

“I am sorry na baby..please maan jao” he said

“its ohk..(With a smiling face) “I said

“Now come with me, I am taking you somewhere..But that’s a surprise, so don’t ask where what and all” he said

He was already knowing my oblivious questions, which he don’t want to answer as he has planned surprised for me, still I asked him..

“But then why you called me here..we would have directly met their only?”  I asked

“baby..i have a surprise for you..You just come along with me…will you please ma’am?” he asked

“yes. I will” I said

Then we were on his bike towards his surprising destination with all those thoughts of what is going to happen? Though yesterday night only we confessed our feelings for each other and today on this auspicious day he has planned to propose me in his different way. So with all good thoughts smiling face after knowing everything I was heading towards destination, where he is taking me.

The weather was really nice..winter morning, sun was not shining that much but still had its effect which kept me feeling warm as I was sitting behind him on his bike..a cold breeze hit my face I closed my eyes and was feeling it over my face..my hairs were dancing to the tune of cold breeze..my white scarf was flowing in the air…I let my arms open allowing cold breeze and warm of sun to hug me…and then heard his voice..

“What you doing? We are on highway!!” he said

“I am in my dream land” I said

“People are watching us, stop doing that..put your hands down” he said with a please in his voice

“Let them watch” I said

“You are crazy” he said

“This you came to know very late” I said

And I again closed my eyes let my arms open and trying to listen what this cold breeze want to say. And after some time I opened my eyes and saw in the rear mirror of his bike…he was looking at me. We both were blushing.

Then we stop near the beach I got down from his bike and went near the water. He went to park his bike. I removed my sandal and let the cold water to touch my feet…and then I saw he was coming towards me. He was in his blue denim jeans with white shirt, red roses in his hand and wearing his cutest smile. And I was there in my white & blue silk chudidaar dress, white silver earnings in my ears, my metal bangles..my hairs were blowing in air..and with one hand I was trying to manage them.

He came near me and said..you are looking beautiful. Then the very next moment he was on his knees, gave those bunch of red roses he asked me…”Will you be my Valentine?”

As I heard this, I was on top of the world and was feeling so happy..and then I heard a ringing bell. That bell was ringing so loudly, it hit my eardrums and I felt irritating in between this magical moment. That sound was not allowing me to listen what he was saying and I felt it was telling me your time is over and now you can go. Then I tried to shift from my place and saw my mobile alarm was ringing and showing 6 O’ clock..telling me get up from your dream you have college.

I rubbed my eyes and was back to reality..I don’t know when I slept yesterday night, with books on my bed, assignment papers on floors..and realized, I have to submit them today. And I was smiling on my stupid dream, got up and started getting ready for college. And on my way to college, when I was in train, thought…

”somebody has said..early morning dreams do come true” so I have to wait..to answer that question
“Will you be my Valentine?”

Mixed feelings for you

20^th Oct’2012

10.15pm

Today is his birthday. At 12.00am I called him..

P: Happy birthday dear..!!

R: Thank you so much..and thanks for calling.

(The moment I wanted to say something else, his friends started singing the birthday song for him..they all were shouted at their high voice. So I was not able to say anything. He told me he will call me back, so I kept the phone down)

Night went away…morning came with blossom in its air. Again I had one more interview today..but today it was with his wishes. Till afternoon I was busy with interview and in travelling. I came home at 3.00pm and went to sleep..I was so tired.

At 3.00pm he was supposed to call me and tell me about the gift..which I gifted to him thanks to Internet, whether he liked it or not. As I worked on it for 1 month to make his b’day special and then I came to know about my new passion for writing.

R calling…3.30pm

P: hello

R: hello..you sleeping??
P: yes!!
R: ok..then I’ll call in the evening..u sleep.

P: ohkk..byee
R: byee

I understood he called me to tell about the gift. The gift I had planned for him..it was two articles. Articles on us..on our conversation..our short story..of “R” & “P”. Both the articles were related to telephonic conversation we had. He called me in the evening around 8 o’clock.

R calling…

(With a smile I picked his call)

P: hello..happy birthday..!!

R: thanks

P: so how’s your day? How did you celebrate your b’day?

R:  mine day was good and celebration got over at midnight only..now just a simple dinner with friends.

(I understood what celebration they had at midnight)

P: ohkk..
(so after a formal talk..eagerly I wanted to ask him how did you find my gift? Because I knew it he himself will never answer unless I ask..but he started with)

R: how’s your interview?

P: There was no interview..they took a test and they told us they will inform.

R: ohk..so how’s the test?

P: It was ok-ok types.

(Wanted to know about gift whether he liked it or not but he was keep on asking about other world’s story..irritating!!)

R: but why ok-ok?? You were not prepared for it?

P: ahh..!! leave this now..I’ll tell you the whole story about my interviews and test tomorrow..but for now you tell me why you called me in the afternoon?

(Without asking directly I asked him indirectly…because I made such an effort for him..at least he should review about it..or else say a thanks to me)

R: ya I called you because you only told me to call at 3.00pm

(Now he was really making me irritate. Yes I told him to call me around 3.00pm to tell me about the gift only)

P: ohh really!! Then something else also I told you. Now finally tell me how did you find my gift?

(Without wasting a single minute I only asked him..because I was waiting for his call only)

R: first thank you so much for the gift. I liked it very much. Such gift has nobody given to me I’ll take out the print of that short story and will keep with me.

P: (smiling and blushing) your welcome.

We talked for 1 hour almost. He made my day and I knowingly or unknowingly made his b’day special…which I wanted to. I am happy for both..yes he liked my gift very much and to know this part of me..that I can write also...because these articles were the very first one with which I started writing.

He then told me how the flow of story was…how he wanted to read and read more about us..our conversation. He told me..how he felt while he was reading..he wanted our story should never have an end..he told me he wanted our story to be like a book..and told me to write. He himself said..this gift  is very precious to me.

Birthdays are very special..!!

M badly Missing You..!!

13^th Oct 2012

11.40pm

Today was mine first interview on campus..first placement in mine college for Finance. Got up early in the morning as I have to reach early for mine one of presentation and then in afternoon I had interview. All set for it but still something was missing…something was making me nervous..something was making me incomplete and unprepared for interview…and it was your presence..your wishes..your motivation…it was you.It’s been 1 month you told me your decision..that I am your friend..more than friend but I can’t be your lover. I poured all my feelings that night over the phone in front of you but you don’t want me only. That night I felt 2 years of my presence in your life didn't made any difference? I still ask this question to myself…but no answer.
Mine interview went very well I got short-listed for the 2^nd round even mine presentation went well but still I was not happy…no joy was there in me. Because you were not with me….one month and we have talked to each other only twice. Busy day also couldn't keep me busy…your absence was all around…I was missing you. Today the whole day I was missing you..missed you a lot. Today’s day ended but there’s no end to my feeling…Missing You!!                
 I still cry for you..can’t hold back mine tears.I feel so lonely…there’s a better place than this Emptiness!!!